braSil: 1st impressions

for almost 6 years pretty much everything was new to me.. the places, the jobs, the experiences, the people in my life (with just a couple of exceptions)..

when i realized i would be visiting braSil, i was afraid.. not afraid to get bored, not of the violence either (ok, a little), but i was afraid i was going to live in the past for a couple of months.. it was a long period away and i didn't know how i would react to seeing how much the places and people changed, or maybe worse: how much they didn't..

the first couple of days were hard on me.. the first couple of hours, especially, were scary, to say the least.. nothing unexpected, but just a little overwhelming.. everybody speaking portuguese around me, it sounded almost wrong.. the anxiety to see my mom.. the horrible, horrible traffic on the way home (5 miles in 1,5 hour? seriously?)..

then i was 'stuck' in a small town (my mom's), having to go to the bank and several government agencies to take care of stuff, doing medical exams, having to dig through boxes of old stuff and decide what stays and what goes to the trash..

but then i realized i was doing something that doesn't really fit me: i was focusing on the wrong side.. i wasn't looking at the bright side of things, and i always can see the bright side of things.. and then everything changed..

having pleasure with the small things.. the food i haven't tasted for years (and i'll tell you it's GOOD food we have!), being with my mom and being able to have my arm around her shoulder while we walked down the street..

so long abroad, and i had forgotten how helpful and friendly my people can be, how we say 'good day' to people we don't know on the street, to someone we meet in the elevator, or to the bus driver, how beautiful rio is at night, with all the little lights in the distance, looking like it's a whole city full of christmas trees..

so i wasn't living in the past after all.. i was remembering the fun moments i had in the past, having a good time in a familiar place, having new experiences with the people i know and love..

being positive does make a difference.. some people don't seem to understand this..

-- pt --

nos ultimos quase 6 anos, praticamente tudo era novo pra mim.. os lugares, os trabalhos, as experiencias, as pessoas na minha vida (com poucas excecoes)..

quando eu soube que viria visitar o brasil, eu tive receio.. nao foi medo de ficar entediado, nem da violencia (ok, talvez um pouco), mas eu tive receio de ter que viver no passado por alguns meses.. foi um longo periodo fora e eu nao sabia como iria reagir quando visse o quanto os lugares e as pessoas mudaram, ou talvez pior: o quanto eles nao mudaram..

os primeiros dias foram dificeis pra mim.. as primeiras horas, principalmente, foram meio aterrorizantes.. nada inesperado, mas fiquei um pouco 'sobrecarregado'.. todo mundo falando portugues do meu lado, soava quase errado.. a ansiedade de ver minha mae.. o transito horrivel no caminho do aeroporto pra casa (10km em 1 hora e meia? serio?)..

e entao eu estava 'preso' numa cidadezinha (onde minha mae mora), tendo que ir ao banco e varios orgaos do governo pra resolver pepinos, fazer exames medicos, ter que ver caixas com velharias e decidir o que guardar e o que jogar fora...

mas depois eu percebi que estava fazendo uma coisa que eu geralmente nao faco: eu estava focando no lado errado.. eu nao estava vendo a parte boa das coisas, e eu sempre vejo a parte boa de tudo.. e depois disso, tudo mudou..

o prazer das coisas pequenas.. a comida que eu nao comia ha anos (e voce sabe que a nossa comida e' MUITO boa!), estar com a minha mae e poder caminhar ao lado dela, abracados enquanto andamos pela rua..

tanto tempo fora, e eu tinha esquecido quao amigaveis a gente pode ser, como a gente diz 'bom dia' mesmo pra quem a gente nao conhece na rua, no elevador, pro motorista do onibus, o quao lindo o rio e' de noite, com as luzes na distancia, parecendo uma cidade iluminada por arvores de natal..

entao no fim eu nao estava vivendo no passado.. eu estava recordando bons momentos do passado, me divertindo num lugar familiar, tendo novas experiencias com as pessoas que eu conheco e amo..

ser positivo faz a diferenca.. e tem gente que parece nao entender isso..